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“Please God, let her be alright…please don’t take her away from me now that I finally understand!” I kept whispering to myself, as I sat on a small chair next to her bed. I could feel my whole body was tense pleading, praying, begging for her to live. My hands were clenched so firmly together that my knuckles were white and my nails had dug into my hands so much that blood was dripping from my palms; but I didn’t even notice, my mind was elsewhere…
~Flashback~
Before I knew it she had charged in-between me and my to-be executor...
BANG!!! The shot went off without warning. But there was no pain like I had expected, no blood leaking from my chest, nothing but a familiar dark haired girl falling before me. That scream…that blood-curdling scream sent a million shockwaves through every nerve of my body. Her face in shock, like a shot doe wondering how it had been killed so easily, as blood slowly dripped out of her mouth. Shock, despair, hatred and love all quickly ran across my mind as I realised what she’d done. “…No! Why?!” I cried, running to hold her, unable to think what to do.
I only smiled sorrowfully back, and whispered, “I just wanted to walk with you…I wanted to be with you…Because I…love you…” I tried to laugh, but it sounded more like a strangled cry, but I couldn’t help it; I had finally been able to tell him how I felt. Though I had waited too long and now it was too late, because I knew, just as he knew, I was going to die here…I was sure of it, yet if I hadn’t and Dan had died first, then I would have lost everything.
My whole world would have been completely obliterated; he was my world, he was the reason that I got up each morning, tried harder each day, his existence in this world was the reason why my heart could keep beating. This was the way it had to be. My death would only be a small sorrow for his huge heart to take, I would be forgotten quickly; perhaps he would end up marrying Claire; I knew he always liked her. My family would be fine too, they didn’t need me; they had my younger sister; she was always the stronger one. Then there was everyone else. I would miss my friends, and they would miss me too, but again it wouldn’t last long; my friends would carry on with their lives and forget. They could all be happy.
I was in shock; I couldn’t think, let alone talk. She loved me?! She couldn’t possibly, I wasn’t meant to be loved, it just wasn’t my fate, I couldn’t-shouldn’t be loved. That point had been proven a long time ago. Fifteen years worth of confirmation, each day walking down the street, I was so young; a lonely orphan. Of course I made friends eventually, made bonds with people, loved people; but never had someone loved me back! My mother couldn’t, my father wouldn’t and my brother just tried to kill me.
That was my destiny; to be unloved.
…But why now?
~End of Flashback~
I couldn’t really remember much of what happened after that, but I knew that the memory of Sarah would always stay with me, burned into the back of my mind like a scar that would never heal. Something I could never escape from.
“Because I love you…”
Why? Why did you choose to fall in love with someone like me? Why did you have to sacrifice your life for me? Because of me, her life was hanging in the balance and if she died here, then her blood would be on my hands.
I didn’t know how long I sat there, in one of the many rooms to this hospital, just waiting for her to wake up. Each breath was a blessing; I didn’t miss a single one, because each one meant that she was still fighting to stay alive.
I’d never felt so much pain in my life, I wanted to rip my heart out. I had heard that the criminal had be killed when he started firing at police but I couldn’t help but wish I had been there, to shoot him myself and watch as the life left his eyes. He was dead, but I was now the one consumed by pain and hate, praying it wouldn’t take me over, body and mind.
“…uh…”
My head jerked up, “Sarah?” her face was the same it had been the whole time I was beside her; slightly pained but otherwise calm. ‘Must be just a dream she’s having’ I thought. I looked down at my hands again; they were covered in blood because my nails digging into my skin. I wiped the blood away on my trousers, and replaced them on the bed next to Sarah’s.
I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if I was with Sarah. My hand crept towards hers like a timid mouse. Her pale skin was beautifully warm and soft, it reminded me of the petals of white roses outside Mrs Simmon’s Flower Shop. Her warmth calmed my hatred, soothed my pain, erased my sorrow...
Because she loves me…
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