Conversations With God

This evolved from a facebook chat with a dear friend. Enjoy! ;)

 

Pink Font = Rachael (Me)

Blue Font = God

Green Font = Michael

Black Font = Stage directions

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"Oh i've had enough!" ...* shoots self in head *...

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"Yo, God! What up?"

"I'm very well thanks Rach, how did your life go?"

"Meh, can't complain. But I just could never get through to this one person. I don't know. I guess it just drove me to insanity, but I just don’t get it…Why? Why God did she do this to me?"

"Do what?"

"What do you mean ‘do what’? Aren’t you supposed to be all-knowing or whatever?"

"Yes well my disciples over exaggerated a little bit. Their bad. Anyway what’s the problem?"
"Well this girl doesn’t listen to me; she thinks she’s basically shit in every way and she just ignores all my attempts to tell her that she’s wrong! Why is she so determined to ignore all the positive things about herself?"
"Simple, either…
1. She likes the attention
2. She likes to watch you suffer
3. She is blind to all the things she has
Take your pick Rach."
"…Oh… Well, gee thanks God, that was just oh-so-helpful of you" * sarcastic * 

"Well sometimes people are just like that and nothing you can say will change their mind. They just have to grow up enough to change it themselves."

"Hmm, maybe so, but it’s such a pain"

"Ah, but that is what life is for, is it not?"
"Touché"
"Ha ha, what am I saying? Of course I'm right I’m omniscient!!! Goodness I really should send my next son down to earth to express my messages through comedy! I have fantastic material!!!"
"Seriously? Yeah, you may be right there. Some people still don't like you very much for the whole 'Old Testament' shenanigans" 

"Ah yes, my good old teenage years. Good times, good times"
"Good times? You were all for murder, rape and pillage back in those days!"
"What? What's my world coming to if I can't destroy and make my creations suffer from time to time? What do you think my Rapture is for?" 

"...Err...okaaay...yes; comedy...I think comedy is definitely the best way for you..."
"Aw shucks, you got me all excited there...oh well...MICHAEL!"
* Michael Jackson enters *
"Yes dad?"
"You shall begin you're training right away!"
"Michael Jackson is your second son!?!"

"Of course! I assumed everyone already knew. Although our last mission ‘loving the children’ went a little astray..." * cough *
"Hmm raping small boys...yeah, nice one. The media really loved that one"
"Yes! The publicity was fantastic!"
"Yeah but he was famous for touching innocent children, not really the message that you want to send, is it?"
"...well...my catholic priests still-"
"That was a rhetorical question. No you don't want to send that message…or at least you shouldn’t…do you?"

"…well…"

"Oh dear God…"